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Sunday, November 9, 2014

Writer's Conference & Aerosmith Doublet

So I went to that writing conference.
I'm not gonna cry. It wasn't that bad.
First off, I didn't get Fists of Fury, the session I wanted. But I'm now not convinced the teacher could show me anything I didn't already know. When I got there, I'm proud I wasn't nervous. Honestly, I wasn't nervous until I was in the classroom alone (I was early) and I realized I could/should have been nervous. 
I took two classes, one about creating relatable, believable characters (not because I have a hard time with that, I just wouldn't mind learning something knew about something old) and one about creating "dialogue that moves the story." I haven't had trouble with either subjects since I was fourteen or fifteen, but I figured I could still learn a thing or two, right?
Wrong.
The first class confused me, because I looked around at my peers and they all looked like ten year olds. Well, freshmen look young, right? When I was a freshmen I looked young. Then when they were opening their mouths, I was like "Jesus. They really are ten, aren't they?" Then the teacher asked what grades we were in, and I realized, oh, they're all sixth graders. That explained a lot. After that I lost interest and just texted people. But when the teacher gave us prompts to write with, and these eleven year olds began reading out loud, I was pleased to be surprised. They may have been almost half my age, but they could write well. It was pretty cool.
In the next class, I was braced to not be impressed. And I wasn't. This teacher was more competent, and reinforced the show vs. tell policy as well as "killing your darlings." I've heard of both concepts, but of late, I realize I have trouble with both. Showing versus telling means for example: he was so angry his face was red vs. he slammed his fist on the table and shouted "THAT's NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" (Orlando Bloom line). Plus, I have a habit of writing too much and being unable to cut my story down to size, to bones, to only what's necessary for the story, which is "killing" your darlings. He also told us about the author of The Outsiders and the Earnest Hemmingway 6 word short story. Don't think you can write a story in so few words? Neither did his buddies. But they had a wager and he won, writing a story that went: "For Sale--baby shoes. Never worn."

Anyway. This outfit is what I wore Saturday.





I know, I know, I'm really overusing both the knee socks and the shirt. But who doesn't love a good Guns 'n' Roses shirt?










I remember seeing America's Got Talent "Travis Pratt" live. 
You remember him, right? The guy who may or may not have eaten Rosie O'Donnell?


I read some articles recently about high waisted shorts/pants. I personally love them, the way they fit, the way they make me feel, despite them becoming a fashion epidemic. But tons of people dislike them--no, more than that, they hate them. The girls who dislike them are so condescending, so abominably crude to their fellow women who enjoy these style of trousers, its palpable even in their writing. They talk like they're so much smarter and better and stronger than the girls who like them. The guys seem to think they're boner-killers, and they hide all your curves, that they're a weak attempt at hiding unseemly cellulite, and like they won't even look at a girl in high waisted shorts. 
It boggles me because they actually are meant to accent your curves, and if they're tight, they show off plenty of booty. They should look at it more like this; the likelihood of an out-of-shape girl looking good in high waist shorts is much higher than an out-of-shape girl in low rise mini shorts.
Their shaming may turn a lot of girls in that demographic away from high waist shorts, but I'm still pro-"grandma pants", as they call them. (Note: grandma's didn't wear high waist pants. Mom's did. Get with the times.)

I can't even explain it, but I've been stuck on Aerosmith all week. The week before it was Billy Joel, then before that Pat Benatar. Currently I'm listening to both "Crazy" and "Cryin'" because they sound really alike and they also have the same actor in the music video.
 Want to see them both??
~Of course you do!~
"Crazy"

"Cryin'"

I've always thought Steven Tyler is a remarkably unattractive man.
~Ash

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