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Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Black Flowers & Somewhere Over the Rainbow



Not much to say about this outfit. So just enjoy the pics.


I quite love this outfit. Simply dapper, don't you think?
In retrospect, I look very different with makeup on. 

Here are some good pics.








I believe I've never said or written this to another living soul or sentient being, but I guess there's a first for everything. I still have suicidal thoughts. Like, frequently. The song I'm going to feature, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," despite how peaceful and melancholy it is, makes my depression far worse, so even though I haven't rid my music library of it, I rarely listen to it, if ever. So... here's Ingrid Michaelson's version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," as first heard on "The Wizard of Oz."

I know I sound pessimistic, but it was a tough week.
On the lighter side, I find that watching Russel Peters or Craig Ferguson or any other comedian sucks the depression right outta me. You should try it when you're down, works wonders.
~Ash

EDIT: You must understand that, as I've said before, I write these posts almost daily, but I also archive them and don't publish them for weeks on end. Sometimes I even have to go back and change "Today I..." to "On that day, I...". This outfit was three months ago. Three months ago, I was fighting with my mom and suicide was a prevalent thought. Today I'm feeling simply chipper. 
Not long ago, I found a video that, for some reason, lifted me up. Made me think, why would I ever hurt myself? Kill myself? Pain is temporary, but failure is immortal. There's so much in life I want--need--to accomplish. If I die now, I'll never know what I was meant to be. 
So I want to share this video. Because it made a difference for me.




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